I'm OK.

Why I’m so fat, Exhibit D (first in a series)

The other night, I was craving some creamed chicken over biscuits, like mah mama usedta make. Her version is classic, and I love it: Campbells Cream of Something Condensed Soup, some cut up chicken (leftover will be fine), and some Bisquick biscuits. I’m not being flip here, I really love that meal the way she makes it.

But (always seems to be one of those!), I have time do it the way a busy working mom can’t: from scratch. I googled for recipes, I noodled it over, and decided, “aww screw it, I’ll wing it.” Here’s what I came up with:

Brad’s Fancy-Pants Cast Iron Skillet Chicken and Biscuits Stuff

Ingredients:

NOTE: Of course, I didn’t measure anything, I just made up these ‘that’s-about-right’ amounts. Use your common sense.

• 1.5 Lbs Frozen boneless, skinless chicken thighs, defrosted, trimmed of excessive fat, and cut into 3/8”- to 1/2”-wide strips
• 1/4 Cup Vegetable oil
• 1 Cup All-purpose flour
• 2 Tsp Salt
• 1 Tsp Cayenne pepper, ground
• 1 Tsp Garlic powder
• 1/2 Tsp Black pepper, medium grind
• Milk (lowfat, reduced fat, or whole)
• 2 Cups Chicken broth or stock
• 1 Recipe of Southern Biscuits (I’m partial to Alton Brown’s recipe, but you may substitue one of your own preference)

Directions:

• Rinse and pat dry the cut-up chicken.
• Combine the flour, salt, cayenne, garlic powder, and pepper in a shallow dish. Whisk to fluff and combine.
• Dredge the chicken pieces thuroughly in the flour mixture and allow stand for about 10 minutes.
• Heat oil in your biggest, heaviest skillet (I prefer my Lodge cast iron) over medium-high heat until ripples are visible, but not to the point of smoking.
• Carefully place chicken pieces into the hot oil. Cook until golden-brown, then flip and repeat.
• Remove the chicken to a paper towel to drain.
• Reduce heat in the pan to medium-low and stir in enough of the remaining flout mixture to absorb most of the leftover oil, stirring constantly.
• Add the chicken stock while stirring, keeping lumps to a minimum. Bring heat back up to medium or so.
• As the sauce starts to thicken, add milk, still stirring constantly.
• When the sauce has at least partially thickened, add the chicken back to the pan. Some of the flour on the chicken will dissolve, further thickening the mixture.
• Cook until you like the consistency. You can add more chicken stock or milk, to taste.
• Re-season to taste, and serve over the biscuits.
• Enjoy.

We’re almost out of time…

I commute at least two hours total each day. Thus, I spend a good deal of time in my car, during which I prefer to educate, inform, and entertain myself. The magic combination of iPod and netcasts [sic] has made this a simple part of my everday life, much like kicking the cat out of my way in the hallway or finishing the last third of a bottle of Everclear in the car on the way to work.

So, I hereby stipulate that I consume a lot of serial digital media, your Honor. OK.

The thing that continually frustrates and annoys me is the ironically arbitrary decision to impose a time limit on an inherently free-form medium. Why on Earth do they say, “we’re almost out of time” when the whole point of the distribution scheme is to be on-demand? I do understand that trained (paricularly of the old school) broadcasters use such phrases and expressions to move a program along, to shoo away a guest who is bombing, or even to change the subject. But the self-imposed limit of one hour, or half an hour? Come on! If your content is compelling and you’re clearly not beating a dead pack animal, KEEP GOING!

I have to give credit, on the other hand, to shows like Buzz Out Loud, which tell you right up front that the length of the program is arbitrary and subject to when the hosts are done covering the planned material in a relaxed, non-frenzied pace.

The bottom line is that you’re not trying to fit into a network timeslot, so quit ripping me off with a lame 60 minutes of material when there clearly are 73 to be had.

Maybe you want to read the ingredients?

Apparently, my “thing” turns out to be random camera phone photos I took at the supermarket? *sigh*

So in the freezer case, next to something else that I actually did want to purchase, I see an array of different Hungry-Man frozen dinners, which I presume from the packaging have more calories than a case of MREs. So, you’d expect to see something on the front of the box like these enticing little banners:

What this one doesn’t explain is what exactly might be inside the box, particularly in regard to the edibility of said contents:

So… you might want to skip the Classic “Simultaneous Bowel and Artery Obstruction” Fried Chicken.